Introduction
Catholic weddings (and funerals) bring more non-Catholics/Christians through the doors of the Church than any other gathering. This is one of, if not the overlooked opportunities to share Jesus Christ and the beauty of His Church with others who do not typically find themselves in a Catholic Church or Christian setting.
Wedding day has turned into wedding weekend and it is all too easy to get lost in the details. Seating charts, fabric colors, time schedules or trolley rentals can all take away from the most important things: Jesus and the Sacrament of Marriage.
But what if Catholic couples were intentional about the things that really mattered in the end? Those actions that speak louder than words? The little gestures that center oneself on Christ? A witness to what a Christ-centered relationship can look like? What does the bride and groom's love communicate about God's love?
Imagine if Catholic couples were just as intentional with the choice of Mass parts, scripture readings and music as they were with the rest of the day? As the bride and groom choose options for their holy day, one might consider embracing some of the following traditions or gestures to orient their hearts towards Jesus Christ and in turn be a living witness to the joy found in Christ to all those present. Plus, it tells a great story in the photographs.
Each of these traditions have come from my own wedding or weddings I have photographed over the years. Listed chronologically in order of when they generally occur in a the day or weekend.
1. Holy Hour with Adoration + Confession
There is no better way to freely enter into the Sacrament of Marriage than to pray with Jesus and have Him free you from your sins through the Sacrament of Confession. On the day before the wedding, just before the rehearsal, coordinate with the priest to have the church open for adoration and confession. This creates a holy time and space for the couple, bridal party and family to pray for the marriage and receive the mercy of Jesus.
2. A Father’s Blessing
A father’s blessing has deep spiritual meaning in Judeo-Christian cultures. While many brides choose to do a first look with their father, consider lingering for prayer together and have the father of the bride give his blessing upon his daughter.
3. Wedding Party Intercessory Prayer
The wedding party is not simply the bride and grooms best friends, they are witnesses to the Sacrament, and should hold the couple accountable to the vows they have made to each other. These are the men and women to lean on when there are challenges in the life ahead. Having the prayers of these witnesses is powerful. Take some time to prayer together as bridesmaids and groomsmen with the bride and groom respectively. Prayerful hands may rest on the shoulder of the bride or groom, but never on the head. Consider assigning a groomsman and bridesmaid the task of leading the prayer to make sure it happens.
4. Bride + Groom Prayer Before Holy Mass
Many Catholic couples choose to follow the tradition of not seeing each other on wedding day until the bride comes down the aisle. In light of this, it can still be very powerful to pray together, for each other and offer those last-minute nerves to God. Locate a corner, door or divider that doesn’t reveal oneself to each other, yet where prayer and conversation may commence.
5. Traditional Wedding Colors
In the Catholic Church, garments, priestly vestments and their coloring are resplendent with symbolism. The traditional wedding attire is a black suit or tuxedo for the groom and the classic white dress for the bride. Like priestly clerics, grooms have traditionally worn black as a reminder of their death-to-self and loving sacrifice for their bride. The bride traditionally wears white as a symbol of purity. Creative liberties can be taken to incorporate these colors into other aspects of the attire if the couple wishes to divert from the traditional garments.
6. Croatian Crucifix
This tradition comes from from the small town of Siroki-Brijeg (present-day Bosnia and Herzegovina) and claims to be the source of the community’s 0% divorce rate. Like all devotions, graces come from faith and trust in Christ, and not by following a prescribed recipe of prayers or gestures. Yet the tradition stands: couples arrive at their wedding Mass with a crucifix which can be placed on the altar during the Mass and held in the clasped hands of the bride and groom during vows. After the wedding, the cross should be displayed in a meaningful place in the home, perhaps above the marriage bed.
7. Flowers for the Blessed Mother
One of the most common Catholic wedding traditions is to give the Blessed Virgin Mary a bouquet of flowers. This often happens after the Communion Rite and is an opportunity for the newly married couple to seek Mary’s intercession for their newly formed marriage and God-willing future children. A traditional Marian hymn is often played and/or sung during this time.
8. First Spousal Blessing
The Sacrament of Marriage bestows a shared spiritual authority from husband to wife, and wife to husband. When children are born, a natural and spiritual authority is bestowed upon the mother and father towards their children. This is why spouses are permitted to bless each other on the head and parents on the heads of their children. After the wedding Mass, as the couple processes out, they may choose to exercise this authority by blessing each other—making a small cross on the other’s foreheads with holy water from the font at the back of the church.
9. Washing of the Bride’s Feet
One of the most beautiful theological concepts in Catholic marriage is the way in which it reflects the union of Christ and His Church. This is why the Church can be referred to as the bride of Christ, or in the feminine, “she” or “her.” Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” What Christ did for his people, so a husband does for his bride. A beautiful way to model the sacrificial love of Christ is to have the groom wash his bride’s feet, like Christ did the Apostles. Consider this gesture in lieu of the the garter retrieval/toss; it can be a powerful witness to those present of God’s understanding of marriage.
10. Prayer Cards
When priests or religious get ordained or profess final vows, they often choose to have prayer cards made for the occasion to be handed out. This is a great way for the people in their lives to pray for them in their new vocation from day one until their death. Brides and grooms can adopt this tradition too, often pulling together meaningful Catholic art, a prayer for the couple and a photo of the couple. Custom prayer cards are included for couples who want them in my deluxe wedding package.